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SURVIVOR'S GUIDE FOR AUDIOPHILES Part 5
7) Avoid audiophile-oriented gifts
When invited to a party, it is quite common you have to buy a gift for your host.
Avoid purchasing 400 grams audiophile LPs!!! Two things might happen:
Either the LP gets instantaneously played on a super-compact all-in-one turntable with USB port (and a cartridge loaded with 10 grams of brute tracking force)
and/or you'll be instantaneously declared socially out-fashioned.
Nobody will ever invite you to a party again. You'll be the one to blame... (which is good! At least you can stay home to listen to your HiFi set once more).
8) Judge favorably any "music" system they dare to propose you
This occurrence might be rare, but for this reason it is one of the most thrilling ones.
Some non-audiophile, knowning you are "one of us", might invite you to listen to his HT or his car-stereo.
Though your ears might bleed while the guy cranks up the volume just turn your disgust into a smile and comment using catch phrases casually taken from HiFi magazines. Here are a few examples:
"The tonal balance appears to be mostly correct, though I do find it a bit euphonic, don't you?"
or: "Wow! This system, in terms of microdynamics, outperforms components costing 10 times more!"
or even: "The perception of the silence between notes and players is outstanding! I think the mains cable you are using plays a significant role here".
Your host will be happy and, hopefully, will switch off his torture-machine.
Don't be afraid to exaggerate! Always bear in mind the golden rule: The higher the praise, the shorter the torture.
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Last edited by niklaus; 02-15-2011 at 11:23 PM.
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